This girl is on FiRe

When our evening nurse came in tonight, this is what she said to me... "oh, your not that bad - I got assigned to you because Im known to manhandle people if I need to". Ohhh! Bahaaaaha, so what your saying ma'am, is that I've made quite an impression today :)

Kayden has been way under aggressive with his feedings. His goal is 65 mL every 3 hours (<--- I almost just wrote Q3 there, which tells you I've been here entirely too long) and he's been taking anywhere from 25-45. Not so hot Kayden. In exchange for his poor eating habits, he has lost weight, isn't sleeping well, has a less than pinkish color and is all over the place with any type of schedule. Needless to say, we aren't at the milestone I was hoping for today. However, I am fine with that as long as he is stable. I am so very scared that he is going to revert to how he was when we brought him in. Today was scary for me, his coloring was really close to that of the night before Thanksgiving, and all I can imagine is that reoccurring. So, ive been completely and probably a little neurotic about his schedule, and even started writing my own notes down about when and how long he is eating and sleeping.
      Here comes my crazy...
           - but first, just FYI, they lock my milk in a freezer that I do to have any access to. I label it and they store it and heat it up for us as needed. Which means I need to ring the call bell and wait for someone to be available, get to my milk, fortify it if it hasn't been already, warm it up and bring it to us. All the while, I'm trying to pacify Kayden... You might imagine how awesome that is.
          - *SO* my nuerosis kicks in and I give the nurses a heads up on when I'm feeding him next and when to please have it ready. This is very proactive I feel.
         - ok, que the crazy lady (that's me) Time to feed, 10 minutes past no one has come. I use the call bell, tell the secretary I need my nurse to bring the milk. Another 10 minutes... I call again, explain what I need again. Another 10 minutes.. My ass is marching down the hallway until the first poor unsuspecting nurses aid comes in my path.

Since 1:00 when this all went down, I've managed to score myself a meeting with all of Kaydens doctors (which is very helpful btw), the patient representative stopped by, social work asked if I needed someone to talk to (which I probably do), got the "bad ass" nurse apparently, and I've gotten my milk precisely when I need it.

Ok, I realize this was all very dramatic. I also realize I wasnt just aggravated over the milk. If Kayden doesn't eat his goal feeds, he needs a feeding tube back in. We have been here for 27 days, and I feel like we are taking steps backwards :(

 Max was here today, and while I love that I get my two boys at once he just doesn't understand why we are at the "hosiple" all the time. He is so freaking funny though. There is a mirror in our room, which he was looking at today while one of the nurses was evaluating Kayden. She was asking him his age and name, and he was answering her but checking himself out in the mirror at the same time. Next she asked him if he thought he looked good today, joking around with me, and Max says... "Yes! I do look good" hahaha. Ahhh kids, this is why all this craziness is worthwhile. Someday soon Kayden will be abnoxiously funny and playful too.

I'm going to bed a happy little chicken tonight, Kayden just took his entire 65 mL feeding :) Yaay, no GI tube for now! Also, we got him a swing from the child life peeps tonight, and someone is loving it. 

Sleep well friends <3
Melissa & Kayden